Global

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Week from Monday 6th April 2026 - I don't think I fell for too many APRIL FOOLS' DAY hoaxes, although one of my daily GEOGRAPHY QUIZZES had all the answers refer to non-existent fictional places from books and movies, thus impossible to find in yer regular atlas! They also tricked me into thinking that I'd forfeited my twenty-something days' WINNING STREAK and had to start from scratch!

Yes, OF COURSE I have been following the ARTEMIS II space mission in all its geeky detail, staying up late into the night so that I can catch everything LIVE, tuned into Mission Control and the voice of CAPCOM, and taking naps with my headphones on! I feel like I'm that nerdy eleven year-old kid all over again! Besides, it's all a lot more compelling (and comprehensible) than anything that's happening on THIS planet currently!

On Tuesday morning I did my 'accounts' for the beginning of a new FINANCIAL YEAR. It didn't take very long! I don't have to file a SELF-ASSESSMENT form any more, but curiously, after filling in the online questionnaire, I find that my tax status is in CREDIT! Theoretically, the gubnint owes me TWO QUID! I'm totally baffled as to how this is the case, or what strange algorithm they might use nowadays to calculate it, but I'm keeping schtumm on the subject! Best not to draw attention...

Week from Monday 13th April 2026
Week from Monday 20th April 2026 - I appear to have skipped a diaryweek again! But I have had a very busy few days on the MEDICAL front. I had to submit BLOOD PRESSURE readings to the GP surgery... On Friday, I had to do several pages worth of BLOOD TESTS for three different departments... as well as providing a URINE SAMPLE... The LUNG PEOPLE contacted me for an assessment... My next COVID JABBING has been booked for a couple of Fridays' time... I have a telephone chat with the RENAL DEPARTMENT on Tuesday... and then it's back to 'SATURDAY CLUB' this coming weekend!

(BIRTH)DAYS GONE BY... On this (birth)day in 1979, we spent an evening at Warsash's trad jazz enclave THE GREAT HARRY, quaffing ale, no doubt, to the sound of the GATEWAY JAZZ BAND... In 1981, I was at one of those Jazz-Funk Weekenders at the Nodes Point Holiday Camp on the Isle of Wight. (*Note for younger readers: Before you went and invented 'rave' culture, we too occasionally used to gather in sweaty overcrowded halls and dance manicly through till dawn. The difference was, we did it to syncopated music created by REAL musicians playing REAL instruments!). Before they stopped being a top-notch jazz-fusion outfit and decided instead to become famous, boring pop stars, we thus heard LEVEL 42 for the first time, as well as the good-but-never-quite-made-it funkateers UK PLAYERS... Still on a funkyish vibe, on this day in 2000, our chums SKUNK FUNK played at Oliver's Bar in Gosport. I don't remember how well they went down, but I can't imagine it was their sort of crowd...

Having examined the results of my blood and weewee, the nice KIDNEY LADY on the phone said that "all's good" and that there's nothing new to report since we last chatted six months ago...

Often when big corporations change the "design" of their WEBSITES, things don't work as well any more. This is a FACT O'LIFE, particularly true of anything connected with GOVERNMENT or BANKS. Such is currently the case with my own bank. I just received the standard email informing me that my monthly STATEMENT is ready for viewing (and printing). Okay, this is normal behaviour so far. But when I logged into the bank as usual, I discovered that nothing is where it used to be. They've completely changed the page layout. I eventually navigated my way to where all the PDF documents are kept, but this month's statement is NOT available after all! Only the PREVIOUS couple of months' appear on the screen...

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